Dirty Little Mistake (Dirty #2) Page 17

  I drew in a sharp breath as he pressed his body flush against mine. Every one of his hard lines matched up with one of my soft curves. And there were a lot of hard lines.

  “Can you feel it?” His voice was husky.

  I ran my fingers along his underwear band, wondering if it was supposed to be textured in some way. It took one of his chuckles and a face-reddening moment to realize he was teasing me. I tried to let him go but he held me in place firmly.

  “It’s a copy of the ivy vines that climbed up the side of my aunt’s house. They were the thing she woke up to every morning and the thing she fell asleep to every night. She had her bed put under the window, just so she could see them in her last days.”

  I looked up at Ridley’s face. I had a desperate need to memorize the intense emotion in his eyes. The tenderness. The hurt. The longing.

  I tipped my face toward his and placed a gentle kiss on his lips.

  “Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked softly.

  “Like what?”

  “Like you’re about to break my heart.”

  Oh, God. Is that what I’m going to do?

  My own heart had that full, brittle feeling that let me know it might shatter too.

  How did I let it get this far?

  But Ridley didn’t give me a chance to respond. His mouth crashed down on mine, demanding and passionate, and I was powerless to resist. My lips parted while he devoured every corner of them.

  My hands travelled the width of his shoulders and the length of his back. In the same way that my eyes wanted to ingrain his face into my memory, my fingers sought to ingrain his body to it as well. I ran them through his shock of too-long hair and over his collarbone and around his pecs and then back to his tattoos.

  “Brenna.” My name was a thick moan. “Sweetheart.”

  He’d begun his own slow, loving exploration of my body.

  His lips and his fingers.

  My neck to my hips.

  The sweet, heat-inducing ministrations made me ache. They made me writhe. They made me forget everything but Ridley.

  His thumbs and his tongue.

  My mouth to my breasts.

  My stomach to my knees.

  “Oh!” I gasped as his teeth found my inner thigh.

  He traced the outside of my hot, wet sex with his mouth, then his fingers, then his mouth once more. He flattened his hand and pushed his palm against my clit in an agonizingly slow circle. I trembled with longing, my knees shook with yearning.

  And then he stopped and rested his palm casually on my hip, turning anticipation to torment.

  “Pancake?”

  I could barely form a mumbled reply. “Mmm?”

  “Tell me you want me,” Ridley commanded.

  “I do!”

  He dragged himself up the bed and positioned himself over top of me. Maddeningly, his boxer briefs were still in place. I tried to yank them down. But in a deft move, he grabbed my wrists and pinned them above my head while still managing to keep himself propped up on one elbow.

  “You do what, PC?” he asked in a sexy, teasing voice.

  “I want you.”

  He kissed my mouth softly. “Tell me again.”

  “I want you. I need you. Please, Ridley.”

  “I like it when you say my name.”

  “Ridley,” I breathed.

  He rolled to his back, taking me with him. A small, pleasure-filled cry escaped from my lips as my legs straddled his hips and his still-covered hardness drove into me. I had to have him.

  This time when I reached for his underwear, he let me pull them off. His erection sprung free, making me moan once more.

  “Take it, Brenna,” Ridley growled gently. “Take me.”

  It was all the encouragement I needed.

  I put one hand around the base of his cock and the other in the centre of his chest and I eased myself onto him. My fingers released and I rocked forward, taking him further in. He thrust upward too and the motion sent a shockwave of pleasure through me.

  “Ridley,” I gasped. “Oh, God.”

  “You like that?” he teased.

  “Yes!”

  He pushed up again. My toes curled and I cried out with the nearly unbearable sensation of having him fill me completely. In reply, I circled my hips over his, making him groan. I went slowly at first, and then with increasing fervour.

  His hands were everywhere on my skin. Stroking. Caressing. Rubbing. Heat seared each spot he touched and soon my body was on fire with the attention.

  Each rhythmic thrust was agonizingly ecstatic. Our bodies were perfectly in time, our breaths in sync.

  My insides grew tighter and tighter too and I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold it in much longer.

  “Come with me, Brenna!” Ridley called.

  And with a final lift of his hips that pushed the full length of him into me, we both cried out. My core released as he pulsed inside of me, sweet and satisfying. He slid his fingers into my hair and brought me in for a deep kiss. At last we rolled apart and he tucked me back into his side.

  I said his name again, this time in an awed whisper. “Ridley.”

  He was silent for a long moment, and when he spoke again, his words brought back the crushing pain in my chest.

  “If I confessed to you that I wouldn’t mind waking up like this every morning, would it scare you away?” he asked.

  “No.”

  It wasn’t quite a lie. It didn’t scare me. It terrified me. But not for the reason he might think. I knew that once I confessed about Ian and the baby, Ridley wasn’t going to want to wake up like this. I’d be lucky if he ever looked at me again.

  Tears pricked at my eyes.

  “Hey.” Ridley’s concerned voice was punctuated by his thumb sliding across my damp cheek. “Are you crying?”

  I met his gaze through blurred eyes. I needed time to compose myself.

  “Do you think you could you get me a glass of water?”

  He frowned, but kissed my cheek and nodded. “Sure. Be right back.”

  As soon as he’d slipped into a pair of sweats and left the room, I swung my legs out of the bed and grabbed Ridley’s T-shirt from the night stand. I inhaled. It smelled exactly the way he did. And I knew it was selfish, but I wanted a part of him with me when I made my shameful confession.

  As I started to slide it on, an angry shout and a crash sent me running. I paused outside the kitchen when Ridley’s furious voice carried out into the hall.

  “You want to tell me where the fuck you were last night, man?” he demanded.

  “Right here.”

  “You want to tell me where the fuck you should have been?”

  “I dunno what you mean.”

  “Didn’t you take a girl to my hotel last night?”

  “Oh. That. I was gonna—”

  Ian’s statement was cut off by a resounding smack and another crash.

  “You hit me!” Ian yelled.

  “Say something about her tits again,” Ridley replied coldly. “I fucking dare you.”

  “What the fuck, man?”

  “You. Are. An. Asshole,” Ridley told him. “You took a girl to a hotel room with the intention of banging her. Fine. A fire breaks out and you run off and leave her. Not so fine. You don’t even bother to come looking for her or stop by her house and see if she’s okay? Truly a douchebag move.”

  “You know what, Rid?” Ian said. “You have this high-and-mighty attitude, but you’re no peach yourself. Even if any of what you just said were true…You’re worse than I am.”

  “How do you figure?”

  “At least I know what kind of man I am.”

  “I know who I am,” Ridley snarled.

  My heart dropped. I knew I should announce my presence – that whatever Ian was about to say was going to be bad. But my feet were made of lead.

  “Do you?” Ian countered. “Let me remind you how this went down. First, you tell me to stay away from Brenna, who’s a nice girl an
d pretty enough but not the kind I’d normally even look at twice. Then you want me to date her. Really, I would’ve just asked her out as a favor, but you want to pay me, so okay. I agree take your five fucking grand because maybe there’s something going on in your head that I don’t know about. I do it. I be me. Because you’re my goddamned family and I respect you even when I don’t understand you. But you have never – not once – given me the benefit of the doubt. I would never have slept with her under false pretences. Can you say the same thing?”

  Finally, my feet moved. I stepped into the kitchen. Ian sat on the floor, covered in eggs, and Ridley stood over him with his hands closed into fists.

  A tiny cry popped out of my mouth, making both men spin in my direction.

  I focused on Ian because I couldn’t bear to look at Ridley. “Is all of that true?”

  Ridley reacted first. “Brenna - ”

  I cut him off. “I’m talking to Ian.”

  Ian shrugged. “Sorry, babe. You’re hot, but bros before hoes, right?”

  “Bros before hoes,” I repeated softly.

  “Why can’t you just shut up, Ian?” Ridley demanded.

  “You told me to be a douche,” he replied.

  “I didn’t tell you to be a douche!”

  “You said for me to be my usual self and she’d tell me to fuck right off. And the fact that she’s standing here in your clothes with that just-fucked hair tells me you won.”

  My eyes sought Ridley’s. It was an easy out. I knew it just as I knew I should come clean. But I grasped at my hurt and channeled my anger right at him.

  “Just so we’re clear. You paid him to date me and not sleep with me. Then you slept with me. How much of everything else you said – or did – was utter bullshit?”

  “None of it, Pancake.”

  “Don’t call me that!”

  “Let me explain.”

  “I don’t want an explanation.”

  “I wasn’t trying to hurt you,” he told me.

  “No? Because I’m not sure how else to take this.”

  “Please, let’s just talk about this,” Ridley begged.

  I forced down the urge to give in to his pain-filled plea. It was better this way.

  “We have nothing to talk about,” I snapped.

  And before I could change my mind, and before Ridley could see how much it was hurting me, too, I turned and fled.

  Chapter Thirty

  Ridley

  I slumped down at the kitchen table, devastation filling my heart. The squeal of tires on the road told me Brenna had taken off.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” Ian asked immediately.

  “What the fuck does it look like I’m doing?” I snapped. “Get out before I lose my shit and hit you again.”

  “Are you going to go after her?” Ian asked.

  “Are you serious?”

  “Of course I’m fucking serious.”

  “What would I say to her, Ian? Tell me what you think will bring her running back to me,” I said sarcastically.

  Ian grabbed a pack of peas from the freezer and held them to his chin.

  “I don’t know.” He shrugged. “But you could probably start with I’m sorry and finish with I love you.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “Oh, c’mon,” Ian said. “You’ve got that shit written all over your face. And so did she.”

  “I’m pretty sure whatever was written all over her face had nothing to do with love. This isn’t a forgive and forget situation.”

  “You just punched me in the face and I’ve already forgiven you,” he pointed out.

  “Not the same thing.”

  “For a smart guy, you’re being pretty dense. You think you feel miserable now? If you don’t sort this out, you’re both going to die of pure pity-party sadness.”

  “Jesus, Ian. The girl just found out I paid you to go out with her. Whatever I hoped was going to happen…It just isn’t, all right?”

  “Do you want me to punch you, too?” Ian offered.

  “Fuck you.”

  “I’m trying to give you advice.”

  “You expect me to take advice from you?”

  He ignored my comment. “Rid, man. You’ve got to get over yourself. Man the hell up. Go over there and beg the girl to take you back.”

  “Right.”

  He ignored that too. “When you came to live with me and my mom, you were an angry, bitter dude. But you had fun. You enjoyed being that guy. And yeah, I know you straightened up for my mom, made some pact with her or whatever, but when she died, Rid. It was like you died too. For five years you’ve been this closed off motherfucker with a chip on his shoulder the size of a truck. I wasn’t even sure you could smile anymore. Then along came Brenna and holy shit. For the last week you’ve been walking around with a dopey smile on your face every second of the day. So I don’t care if you think I’m the biggest asshole on the planet. Take my goddamned advice and chase after that girl.”

  My mouth dropped open, and the only word that came out was, “Shit.”

  “Yeah.”

  “I hate when you’re right.”

  “Me, too,” Ian agreed. “Makes me sure the world is about to explode.”

  I slapped him on the back, grabbed my keys off the table, and strode toward the door. As my fingers closed over the handle, the door flew open. A tiny fist caught me in the gut.

  “What the hell!” I shouted as I jumped away.

  “What did Balls-For-Brains do to her?” she demanded.

  “What?”

  “Your overly-testosterone-fueled roommate. What did he do to Brenna?”

  “Look, Risa. Brenna left because she was upset. I don’t know what she said when she came home, but whatever it was, it was about me, not him.”

  “Like hell it was about you.”

  “I was just about to come after her.”

  “Where is he?”

  “Ian? He’s here, but I swear this isn’t his fault.”

  Brenna’s roommate ducked under my arm and darted into the house. I chased her to the kitchen and grabbed her around the waist as she dived toward Ian.

  “You fucker!” she shrieked.

  Ian brought the frozen peas down from his face. “Me?”

  “Yes, you!” Risa struggled against my grip, arms flailing. “Let me go, Ridley!”

  “I already cold-cocked him once,” I told her. “I’m not going to let you do it too.”

  “He deserves it.”

  “Sometimes,” I agreed. “But not at the moment.”

  “You don’t know what he did,” she countered.

  “If you promise not to hit him, I’ll let you go and you can tell me what he did,” I offered.

  “Fine.”

  Very slowly, I released her. Then, just to be sure, I guided her to an empty chair and pushed her into it gently.

  “Go ahead,” I said nicely.

  She shot me a dirty look. “Five minutes ago, Brenna came into the house in tears. She was so upset she was nearly incoherent. She said something about Ian and finding out the truth and then she took off in her car.”

  “Where did she go?” I asked.

  “How the hell should I know? It was your asshole cousin who chased her off. She obviously told him the truth and he did something to her so ask him!”

  “Hang on,” I replied slowly. “She told him the truth? Don’t you mean he told her?”

  “No. I meant exactly what I said.”

  “What truth are you talking about?”

  “About the goddamned baby!”

  The room was utterly silent.

  “What do you mean, Risa?” I asked quietly.

  Risa gave me a triumphant look. “Oh, Ian didn’t fill you in? He slept with her, got her pregnant, and now apparently doesn’t care at all.”

  “I didn’t touch her!” Ian insisted. “And if I had, I sure as hell would’ve used a condom.”

  “Oh, please,” Risa scoffed.
/>
  I sat very, very still, taking in Risa’s furious expression and Ian’s disbelieving one. My mind worked to make the connection, but I felt like I was underwater. They volleyed the argument back and forth. Risa told him what a terrible father he would be. Ian denied not just parentage but any sex at all.

  Finally, Risa’s voice rose an octave and it cut through the sluggishness in my brain.

  “You were so drunk that you don’t even remember it,” she said accusingly. “You seriously want me to believe that you’d remember to cover it up?”

  “Ian doesn’t drink,” I stated.

  They both turned toward me.

  “Are you saying Brenna’s a liar?” Risa demanded.

  “No. I’m saying Ian doesn’t drink. He’s allergic to alcohol. Ask him.”

  “That’s bullshit,” Risa replied.

  “You’re telling me,” Ian agree. “But it’s still true bullshit.”

  “Risa, when did Brenna say she slept with him?” I asked.

  “I don’t know. At your housewarming party?”

  “She’s not a liar.” My voice was low and rough.

  “Told you so,” Risa said

  “Hey!” Ian protested.

  “It wasn’t him. It was me.”

  Both Risa’s mouth and Ian’s dropped open in surprise.

  “You?” they said in unison.

  I gripped my keys in my hand so tightly they cut into my skin. Brenna was pregnant. With my baby.

  Emotions raged through me. Anger and hurt. Guilt and shame. Understanding and joy.

  I needed to find her. And I knew exactly where she would have gone.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Brenna

  I sat on the soft, short grass in front of my mother’s gravestone. The sun was shining above me, even though I was sure it should be raining.

  The day of her funeral had been a dark one. The clouds and the drizzle that afternoon had been perfectly matched to my heart, which was dark too.

  Absently, I wondered why the weather wasn’t cooperating today, when the darkness inside me was so much thicker.

  Everything since that day had been spiralling out of control, leading to this moment.

  It started with a phone call that left me breathless and had me scrambling to absorb details, to understand what the tinny, unfamiliar voice was telling me on the other end.